A Humble Apology (Kinda, Sorta)

Jason says, "I want raw meat!"

You know how I said "elf porn" the other day? Yeah, well I googled the term. Over 1,940,000 results. I'll never say it again. I apologize to anyone who read it (including myself).

Then again, that hentai crap is really popular. Yeah, animated porn. Nice stuff there! What, human porn is too real for these people? If that's the case.....and you're loving hentai, or whatever it's called.....you've watched way too much porn. Let us never speak of it again.

Anyway, I saw that noted hedonist and Yankee star, Jason Giambi, was calling out Alex Rodriguez in Sports Illustrated. What the fuck? I don't want to hear anything from that former steroid guzzler. He's not fit to shine Rodriguez' shoes. Give me a break. He should give back that MVP he won while gulping down synthetics like they were Cheerios. I love the cover of SI a few years ago saying "How The Home Run Has Changed The Game". Yeah...the home run....that was it....

Months after he issued that b.s. apology--where he apologized for using steroids without actually admitting he used them--Jason was photographed wearing a shirt in Vegas that actually DID say "Better Living Through Chemistry". That was bright. Uh, what stays in Vegas.....? I'm kicking myself for not saving that photo when I came across it.

Hey, I'm glad party boy is off the juice. I'm glad he's healthy. And I'm glad he's playing well enough to stay in the big leagues. But people with no credibility shouldn't be yapping about people who DO have it.

I'll throw in one quote: "Alex doesn't know who he is. We're going to find out who he is in the next couple of months." And that was about the tamest quote, whatever it actually means. Trouble with that is we KNOW who Jason is and what he's done. Cheated. Like Bonds. Like McGuire. Like Sosa.

Allegedly. My bad.

In fifteen years, three words will separate Jason from Alex: Hall of Fame. And Jason ain't the one who'll go in. So Jason, shut the fuck up and go find yourself some elf.....oh, that's right....never mind.

(originally posted 9-21-2006)