Terrell Owens, Author

T.O. the AssHole has recently announced he would be writing a children's book. He's got a co-author to help him do such hard things as think and write. The book will be entitled "Little T Learns To Share". I really wish I were making this up. The book is about a little boy who realizes that he has to share his football with his friends if he actually wants to, you know, play football. I, for one, applaud T.O. If anybody should understand what it's like to be a miserable, selfish bastard, it's certainly him. It's nice that he wants children to grow up to be better than he is (yeah, big challenge THERE).

Anyway, I want to help T.O. with some suggestions for future books he might write.

"Little T Becomes A Little Locker Room Cancer";

"Little T Stabs Little Donovan In The Little Back":

"Little T Overdoses On Little Pain Medication";

"Little T Can't Play Nice With Other Little Children";

"Little T Shits On His Little Position Coach";

"Little T Shifts All The Blame Onto Others";

"Little T Gets Roasted By Little Eagle Fans";

"Little T Gets Round The Clock Coverage By Little ESPN";

"Little T Gives His Little Head Coach A Little Ulcer";

"Little T Can't Shut Up Even A Little";

"Little T Knows Drama Better Than Little TNT";

"Little T Whines His Way Out Of Little Philadelphia";

"Little T Sits On His Ass In Little Training Camp";

"Little T Jacks Off To His Own Little Picture";

"Little T Shreds His Quarterback In The Little Media";

"Little T Shoves His Head Up His Own Little Ass";

"Little T Loses His Little Perspective";

"Little T Demonstrates Sit Ups For Little Assholes";

"Little T Leaves His Career In Little San Francisco";

"Little T Explains Why It's All About Little HIM".

"Little T's Agent Says 'Next Little Question'";

"Little T Becomes A Self-Promoting And Self-Destructive Little Bastard";

"Little Coach Reid Tells Little T To Go Away".

"Little T Loves His Coke-Snorting Apologist, Little Michael Irvin";


(originally posted 10-16-06)